focus

5 July, 2006

I’m really struggling with focus at the moment.

Not my eyes, don’t mention my eyes. General focus; focus on events, activities, projects. I’m having a noticable problem actually doing or acheiving anything. It’s a combination of things, really.

First of all; I’m tired. So very tired. I think our mattress is crap. It has two definate dents in it, with a rise in the middle (hopefully not indicitave of some larger problem). The uneveness of the surface is making it hard to get a good night’s rest.

Secondly; I’m worried. We’re due to have a baby next week. I’m sure my lovely wife is extremely worried about how that head is going to get out of that spot. I’m petrified at how well I’m going to be able to support her. I was almost sick when we cleaned up the wound on our old chook, Esther. How am I going to cope with 6-12 hours of labour?

Third; The dreaded beast called RSI has raised it’s hideous head again. I’ve developed a searing pain down my right arm. Into the fingers. Back up into the shoulder. It comes and it goes, but mostly it seems to come when I really don’t need it.

Third-point-one; The RSI seems to increase the sleeplessness issue.

Third-point-two; I’m worried about carrying a new baby, and having RSI. Will I be able to help my wife, and my baby without screaming out in pain?

Fourth; The whole employment thing. I’m not really enjoying this job anymore. I saw another job at the hospital, but it’s outside of my ability (extensive Linux, networking & security). I don’t really see much of a future here, and I have no faith in my contract being extended beyond January 7, 2007. We’re also looking at new lab systems, which will reduce the in-house IT support needs.

Fourth-point-one; Add to this the mixed messages I am getting from another company. They interviewed me last year, but couldn’t hire me at the time. Then they invited me back a few months ago just to ‘have a chat, and work out some salary details’. In that meeting I end up being interviewed by the CEO – I was totally unprepared, and almost pooped myself. Following that, I have been told “It looks like we’re going to hire you, has M*** contacted you yet?”. “No”. I’ve had that a couple of times. I’ve not chased it up, because I’ve been too preoccupied with preparing for the baby (or perhaps I’m just hiding behind those preparations)

The net result of all this is that I’m having trouble focussing on the required tasks here at work, and I end up spending half the day drifting from blog to blog, and probably doing more damage to my stupid arm.

Oh, and my MacBook goes into service tomorrow. So I’m without it’s elegance. And it’s dark before I get home. And I have to lock George in a box each night. Grrrrr

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7 Responses to “focus”

  1. gruntski Says:

    Damn, all I can really say is “deeeeeeep breaths”. RSI can be a bitch; I should know, most of my client base have it to some degree or other, and the suggestions I would make, as a Special Needs User Support Manager is….

    1. Has someone contacted an agency to have a work-place assesment done (they have an obligation to do so)?
    2. Is voice recognition something your employer would consider?
    3. Is there a HMU (Health Management Unit, or Injury Prevention and Management) at the hospital; if not, why not?

    As far as K*** and your child are concerned; K*** is a woman of astounding (ASTOUNDING) strength, and a cluey one, to boot. I am sure understanding of your situation is clear and concise; I know that doesn’t help with your desire to help, but do what you can, I know it will be appreciated.

    The only other thing I can say is; you have my number, use it. I want to help.

  2. vetti Says:

    omg mr bug, you’ve hit the jackpot…what can I say? Just remember that you know many people who care about you, who will help in any way they can. You are a great person, and mrs bug is well-adjusted enough to know that you will do everything you can to look after her and your child, rsi or not. The universe flips us all the bird sometimes, just keep talking to us, and we’ll do whatever you need, whenever we can. Please call.

  3. Squozen Says:

    I think you’ll find the hump in the middle of the mattress is the drive shaft tunnel…

    but seriously… you should be speaking to us…

  4. crumpet Says:

    I have no doubt at all that both of you will be excellent parents. And (although I’m not speaking from any sort of experience), having a baby (happy!) is a much different experience than cleaning up a wound (sad…). You’ll be fine. Tired, stressed and anxious, but fine.

    Can you flip your mattress over and sleep on the reverse side for a while? That might help a little.

    If you need us, call us.

    /hugs

  5. gruntski Says:

    Don’t tell me no one else wants to comment?

  6. gizo Says:

    Sorry all, I was a bit lax on my comment moderation. Looks like this has gone too far in the oppposite direction. I’ll try to find a middle ground, where you lovelies are not treated as spam.

    My Squozen, why should I seriously be speaking to youse?

  7. vetti Says:

    give Bill the carpet guru a call about your arm – he has done loads of exercise on the same pain areas, ask him what stretches he does…?


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